Conceived at the 1964 New York World's Fair but born & raised at a Guinea Pig skin curing plant in Moldavia. Won prices at carnivals while growing up because I can turn my head a full 360 degrees. Can also eat 2 lbs of pork rinds in 48 seconds. Spent time in college moonlighting at Save The AMC Pacer rallies. P.H.D. in Manure Distribution. Presently living in a decommissioned underground missile deployment silo (got it cheap!!)

Cubicle Slave to Corporate America

Shooting myself out of cannons, sword-swallowing, raising mongooses (albino only), lifetime member of the Save Tammy Faye's Face Club, and the Bring Back the 8-Track Organization. Like to go to junkyards to hunt under the seats of cars for rare coins.